The Journey to Now

I have been absent. I have been absent from my blog, absent from life, absent from TTWD and absent from my self.

In May I got into some legal trouble. Not a great deal of trouble, but enough that it took my concentration away from every thing. I had court for most of the summer. It wrapped up in late August and I was relieved to have it finished.

Then came the depression. With this legal battle I had lost my job, some of my friends and a few family members. Most of all I had lost a sense of who I was.

A large portion of me was wrapped up in my job and volunteer work. They went hand in hand. It was all gone.

I fell into a slump that I could not escape. I stopped leaving the house. I stopped taking calls. I stopped getting online for the most part. I stopped being a wife and forgot how to be a sub. For the most part, I was an absent parent living in the same house.

On November 30 it got bad. I was at a breaking point and something had to give. I had started therapy a few weeks prior and digging up bones was making it worse for me. That night Aeon and my mother called our doctor. I had agreed to do what the on-call doctor advised. The on-call sent me to the ER. The ER sent me to the psych floor for a 72 hour hold.

I am doing better now. I am picking up my pieces and moving on with my life. Aeon and I are picking up the pieces of TTWD and moving forward slowly. The therapist thinks that TTWD is part of my identity and I need to reclaim as much of my identity as I am able. We are starting slow, but I must say it feels very right for both of us. It is nice to have a therapist that does not judge even if she does not understand.

I will be blogging twice a week to start. Just trying to get my feet wet again. I am attempting to catch up on 7 months worth of missed blog reading. You all have been very busy!

I ask that you be patient as I ease  back into things. Give the chance to regain my momentum. For those that stuck around and did not jump ship...Thank you, thank you for being here when I came back.